I grunted under the weight of the heavy fridge, as my brother lined it up with where it was going to fit into the kitchen.
‘Have you got your end?’ I asked, frantically.
‘Yeah, yeah,’ he waved me off, frowning at the wall.
‘That wasn’t convincing.’
‘I don’t think it’s going to fit,’ he mused, putting his hands on his hips.
‘What?! I thought you measured it!’
‘I did!’ he protested. ‘Well, I looked at it.’
‘You looked at it?’
‘Yeah, it looked fine.’
‘What do you mean it looked fine?’
He shrugged, like it was obvious. ‘I thought that the fridge would fit in this hole.’
‘But what did the tape measure say?’
‘I forgot it in the car.’
‘So when you went back and got it,’ I huffed through gritted teeth, glaring at him. ‘What did it say then?’
He remained suspiciously quiet.
‘God,’ I growled, heaving under the fridge and standing it upright. ‘What is wrong with you.’
‘I told you to hire a company with experience organising a kitchen installation,’ he shrugged.
‘You told me you had experience!’
‘What?’ he frowned. ‘No I didn’t.’
‘Yes! In that same conversation!’
He frowned, replaying the conversation in his head. Eventually, something clicked.
‘Oh!’ he exclaimed. ‘Oh, no, what I meant was I have experience hiring people who have experience.’
‘You’re the worst brother,’ I shook my head. ‘Just, in the world. The absolute worst.’
‘It was an ambiguous conversation! Nobody’s fault!’
‘You still could have measured the fridge!’
‘Oh please,’ he waved me off again. ‘Nobody does that.’
‘I bet those professionals you watched did a lot of measuring,’ I glared.
‘I also once watched a company help with kitchen design, near the Melbourne CBD,’ he rolled his eyes. ‘I suppose you want me to help pick out your subway tile now?’
‘That’s it!’ I snapped. ‘Out!’
‘Out?’
‘Out!’
‘But you promised me lunch!’
‘And you told me that you had the other end of this fridge!’