Car Repair Riposte
‘Wish that I could cross blades with you,’ the man in the hood called to me from the other side of our impromptu tourney ring, the village crowd encircling us with morbid fascination. ‘But alas, I have no wish to die today.’ ‘A coward as well as a liar?’ I asked loudly. ‘Who would have thought such knavish traits could fit in a cloak so tattered?’ That elicited a smattering of laughter from the crowd, who were whipping themselves into a state of excitement. ‘You have not proven me a liar!’ the man cried, and I saw the flash of gold under his hood again. ‘I promised you a mechanic to perform a car air con regas near Milperra, and it is you who has not seen fit to test my word!’ In truth, he was correct – I had given him no chance to prove himself a man of…
Desert Tyre Mishap
‘Again?!’ I hollered up at the night sky, kicking the rapidly-deflating tyre of my four-wheel drive. I let out another yell, hearing it echo across the sparse desert road. ‘Problem?’ a voice asked behind me, and I almost jumped out of my skin. I whipped around to find a kindly older man, strapped to the nines in a hiking backpack and leaning wistfully on a walking stick the same height as him. ‘My tyre,’ I grumbled, gesturing half-heartedly at the deflating rubber. ‘Ah, yes,’ he nodded gently, ‘the desert has claimed another one.’ ‘It’s claimed two, actually,’ I sighed. ‘What are you doing out here, anyway?’ ‘Walking,’ he said simply, like it was the only answer that made sense. ‘It’s nearly eleven,’ I frowned. ‘Oh, I only walk at night,’ he said, glancing up at the stars. ‘How boring the day sky is!’ ‘Right, fair enough,’ I said, rapidly losing…
The Suspension Getaway
I kicked the car into gear and ignored its protesting squeal, twisting the wheel as I gunned the engine. Dust spat into the air behind me, kicking up a cloud as I raced down the desert road. ‘That was insane!’ Bugsy hollered from the seat next to me. ‘I can’t believe we made it out of there, without a scratch!’ I looked around mournfully at the spate of new dings and scratches on my beloved car and suppressed a whimper. ‘Not quite,’ I choked out. ‘Ah, the car’s easy!’ Bugsy laughed, slapping me on the shoulder. He swivelled around to glance into the backseat and let out a long whistle at the bags of cash sitting ever-so-innocently on the leather. ‘We can get you any mechanic you need!’ ‘Even a mechanic in Frankston?’ I asked, blinking rapidly. ‘Even a mechanic in Frankston!’ he confirmed. ‘Fine,’ I sighed. ‘But it’s coming…
Car Tank Talking
‘Is it getting hot in here?’ I asked the three other men stuffed into the tank with me. ‘I wish we could crack a window.’ ‘I don’t think cracking a window would make it less hot in here,’ Reyes smirked from the gunner seat, eyes hidden by the periscope he was pressed against. ‘At least we’d have a breeze,’ Jones nodded at me, acting like he was considering it. ‘If you want a breeze, I can give you a breeze,’ Luca chuckled. ‘NO!’ we all shouted in unison, turning to glare at him. I think I actually saw Jones reach for his holster. ‘We’ve warned you, Luca,’ Reyes said, eyes steely. ‘One more time and we will strap you to the front of this thing.’ ‘It was just a joke!’ Luca laughed again, hands up in surrender. ‘God, you guys are frostier than a car aircon repair in the Arctic.’…