Shoulder Replacement Distraction
Well, I’ll be! What a week I’ve had! It started with me taking a small tumble in the backyard – don’t listen to my Emma if she ever tells you vegetables are good for you! I tripped over our crop of carrots and went smack, straight into the dirt! I’ve never been so embarrassed! Luckily I was able to get myself inside and to a doctor, but he told me that I might be better off seeing a shoulder injury specialist near Melbourne (although he didn’t recommend one specifically – apparently the shoulder specialists near Melbourne are just better?). Oh, he was so kind though, Doctor Martine. He has a real knack for making you relax and not worry about the blinding pain shooting through your arm. I still had all these questions he wasn’t able to answer for me because our time ran out. So there I am, on…
Gas Heating Reveal
The guard to my left flew at me, slashing downwards with his sword. I shifted delicately to the side, letting him pass by me like so much wind. My knee cracked out as his sword bounced off the cobblestones and his balance faltered, knocking him onto the ground with barely any effort. His compatriot behind me snarled and swung viciously. I quickly assessed the movement, ducking under the steel and pushing it away from me with the palm of my hand. The man looked shocked at my superhuman speed, his eyes widening as I dropped to the ground, sweeping his legs out from underneath him and sending his helmet cracking against the stone. He groaned and stayed down. The other two guards eyed me warily, tightening their grips on their sword hilts. ‘You can just go,’ I said, calmly. ‘Nobody needs to know about me.’ ‘We can’t let you!’ one…
Media Studies Teacher
It’s now been six months since I decided to no longer pursue video production as a career. As you’d know from my last two blog posts, I studied video production at university and have been interested in it for many years. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get a job in the industry straight out of university and then several years later it dawned on me that I’d probably never get my dream job. It’s been hard to come to terms with this, but I’ve done my best to take it in my stride. I’m trying not to look back at the past or think about how sad I am that I’ll never work in corporate video production. Melbourne has so many really good video production companies, which makes it even worse. I can’t believe not even one would take me on or give me a chance. I even offered to…
Disability Service Drills
‘Atten–hut!’ the drill instructor hollered from the edge of the field, and my platoon jumped to its feet, quick-smart. ‘Sir!’ we all shouted in well-practised unison, not a decibel out of place. ‘Why are you squatting in a field like so many worms of the dirt?’ he continued to holler. ‘Because we are worms, sir!’ we dutifully replied. ‘Correct!’ he said, striding alongside our military line. ‘You are worms! But you’re not just any old worms, are you lads?’ ‘No, sir!’ we agreed. ‘Well? What are you then?’ ‘We’re your worms, sir!’ we shouted. You could almost feel our individuality loosening itself, moulding us into something harder, more directable – one plucked vocal chord at a time. ‘Good!’ he chuckled, though there was no humour in his eyes. ‘So, worms, if I was to point you at a wall of hot-leaded gunfire, what would you do?’ ‘Advance, sir!’ ‘Correct!’ he…
Reginald Part One
Reginald the rat was on the sewer subway when he was approached by a good-looking rat with long whiskers. The rat scurried up to him and twitched his nose expectantly. Reginald looked up from his rat newspaper and smiled. “Can I help you?” He asked the rat. At Reginald’s look of indifference, the other rat frowned. “Don’t you know who I am?” He asked. Reginald smoothed out a crease in his rat newspaper. “Haven’t the foggiest.” The other rat’s frown deepened. “I’m the most famous rat in all of the sewers. I’m a millionaire businessman.” He held out his paw. “My name’s Remy.” “Good for you,” said Reginald, and he reopened his rat newspaper, ignoring the rat’s outstretched paw. Remy made a small annoyed sound and sat down next to Reginald. “I’m currently in the process of finding kitchen design ideas for my new business, and I’m asking strangers to…
Love Versus Bathrooms
Saying goodbye to something you’ve worked hard on is really difficult. I feel like I’m turning my back on something that I loved, nurtured and had a big part in developing. It’s really tough and I wish it wasn’t the case, but alas, this is the path that I’ve taken and I need to stand by this hard decision. What am I turning my back on? I’m moving houses because I’m moving to a different state to be with the love of my life. We met online and he said the only way we could be together is if I came to his state. So, that’s what I’m doing. And I’m leaving behind freshly completed bathroom renovations. Melbourne, where I currently live, has always been my home and is where I imagined myself living forever. That’s why I bought my own house and decided to get the bathroom renovated. I…
Not A Plumber
My brother is the most frustrating person in the world. He’s always been different to other people in the sense that he doesn’t care what anyone thinks, doesn’t listen to people’s advice and actively goes against what people say when they try to be too helpful. He’s a handful and really hard to connect with, which has made it very difficult to be his sister. I am especially frustrated with him right now. He’s studying to become a plumber at the local TAFE and he’s refusing to organise his placement. He needs to do his placement and be an apprentice for several years before he can become qualified and I am so angry at him for wasting his time and throwing opportunities down the drain. Pun not intended – I’m too angry to laugh. He is literally never going to become a qualified drain plumber if he doesn’t put the…
Glass Shattering Morals
So, after all that, a happy ending. Who would have thought? Oh, wait, I haven’t actually told you how this crazy but somewhat true story ends yet. Last we left off, Feathers and friends had destroyed all the glass in Melbourne, giving glaziers plenty of work to do, intending to have that fix the economy. However, the mass destruction had many unintended consequences, leading to this being considered one of the greatest disasters in modern history. How, then, does this story have a happy ending? After destroying all of the windows and glass balustrades in the Melbourne area, the ducks became aware that their actions actually had a negative impact on the city, with many people hospitalised. Feathers and his friends, feeling awful about what they’d done, began to rally all of the ducks across Melbourne to help the people. They served as assistants to doctors and nurses in hospitals,…
Eye Surgery Doubts
‘Wait a second, wait a second,’ I put a hand up to stop my husband talking, rubbing my temples with the other. ‘What are you telling me right now?’ ‘I just think there’s a better option here,’ he said. ‘It’s a risky procedure.’ ‘Why didn’t you say this before I’d scheduled it?!’ I growled at him. ‘I didn’t want to upset you!’ he protested. As I glared, I reflected that he might not have a strong, complete grasp on the concept of irony. ‘Well,’ I started, soothing myself with a deep sigh. ‘I’ve been to the best optometrist around Cheltenham, and I’ve been to the worst – all of them have told me that this surgery is safe, routine and the best option to fix my eyes.’ ‘There’s nothing wrong with your eyes!’ he said, rushing over to grab my hand. ‘Uh… I can’t see out of them, Steve.’ ‘I…
Underground Energy Myth
“Don’t think you can weasel out of it that easy,” Madeline said. “I told you what you wanted to hear. Now tell me why you are going around telling everybody about the return of solar power when you don’t know the first thing about it. My uncle worked with a solar panel installer back on the surface, so I know that restoring the solar panels isn’t possible with the roaches around.” Dirk crossed his arms, irritated that she – of all people – had caught him out in the lie. Now what could he do? Tell her the truth? After all, he wasn’t that invested in working with Gideon. But to do so would be to betray the entire crew’s trust. He did have to admit to himself that Madeline wasn’t quite the demon he’d convinced himself she was after the breakup. Now that he knew why she’d left, Dirk…